My Changing Relationship with God

When I came to OA in 1983 I couldn’t bear to hear the word “God.” I had huge resentments toward Him. I had asked to be thin, and He never zapped me thin. I had asked to have a different family, and that didn’t happen. I asked to be rich, and that didn’t happen.

By the time I stepped into the rooms, I had tried every diet and weight-loss plan and read many of the books on “changing your eating patterns.” I had tried therapy. I tried crystals and various positive affirmations.

What I hadn’t tried was a spiritual solution. Luckily, I heard in the rooms that I could make up my own Higher Power. That idea and the most important line (for me) in the Big Book—“Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” (Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous. New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Service Inc., 2001)—were the freeing concepts that allowed me to quit trying to do it myself and to believe that something loving and kind was with me and helping me every day with every bite.